Thursday, April 12, 2012

FALLING


I was walking about on a narrow trail when suddenly the ground gave way and down I fell again through holes that lead upward. When in midflight I yelled out stop not again. So here I hang suspended in mid fall. I am neither up or down, on the ground or in the sky. Suspended, the air from above is warm and fresh, the air around me is a musty dirt smell, and the breeze from the bottom is cool and a bit refreshing of the hint of a cool spring.

Why did I fall again, what did I do wrong. I was following the path and was to meet up with those in my group in a couple of days. Now I’m here again like Alice falling down a rabbit hole. This is not where I want to be, this is not what I had planned happening to me.

I can’t tell how long I’ve been here, or how long will I stay. Afraid to move, breath, and talk the ramifications of that could be fatal. Noises now begin to register groaning, dirt falling about me hitting the sides of the hole and down deep to the abyss that awaits me. Darkness now encompasses me, and the sweat begins to form on my brow. I can feel things crawling on my skin, little feet and slimy things move across me like a road way. I am afraid and start to look down; I fall a bit and then look up. My head is like a radio station that is not getting one strong signal but hundreds of voice and music filling the void. My breath becomes deep and fast, my heart begins to race out of control. Am I lost, is this it?

Then suddenly a light no larger than a pin head is beside me. A fresh breeze is felt next to me. I look again and the light is getting larger and I hear voice beyond the light. Suddenly a large popping noise is heard; dirt and rocks fall down and up the hole that I am suspended in. The light blinds me, and then the voice. “I will never leave you, nor forsake you. I am here by your side. I am here near you. You are not alone.”

I can bear the place I am, I can wait on the Lord and see where he is taking me. I lean in his arms and rest my hopes, fears, and dreams in his lap.


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