Down the Rabbit Hole: Hurricane Warning

The hurricane is an amazing storm, over the years weathermen, have been able to watch it form, develop, and make land fall. They can do a pretty good job at the predictions but when the storm hits the shore line the amount of damage it will cause or create is seen after it passes over.

March of last year I had a hurricane warning of my own. A storm was forming and as it approached my shoreline it looked monstrous and consuming. I stood on the shore watching it churn and preparing myself for its land fall.

It hit with such force it knocked me down, it felt as if I was blindsided and tackled by some 400lb linebacker. Laying there was only one thing I could do but get back up. Again I found myself on the ground stunned, sore, and tired. Laying there for a moment it brought to mind me watching my first Navy and Notre Dame Football game. The Navy players were so small compared to the other team. They would double up and triple up on a single player. Yet, what impressed me was how they would get up and continue to play as if they were winning the game. Another athlete came to mind, Dale Earnhardt Sr., there was a auto race where he was 3 laps down and was pitting on the back side of the track. He had everything against him, but with his tenacity and pit crew he won the race. I knew what needed to be done and I got back up again. This time learning from mistakes, moving a side to miss a tackle or learning to read a play. I formed my team around me to help me beat this cancer. I was the little engine that could and failure was not an option.

My doctors continue to be impressed with my response to treatment and surprised myself.

  The storm approached and made landfall, it tried to ravage me with its rain, hail, winds, and high waters however, as it passed over me. I can look at the damages and repair what needs to be fixed. I know not what the future holds for me, I could never get cancer again, and yet it could re-occur. Sitting here there are choices that are at my table. I can be BITTER or BETTER, I choose BETTER, I will rejoice in the Lord with all my heart all my soul, and my entire mind, with the storms churning around me.

 

FEAR

Is. 41: 10:  Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

I have had the opportunity to get to know other women who have or had breast cancer; the one common thread is fear. They find a lump and because of fear do nothing, or they see their doctor and live in terror. When I found my lump fear didn’t dictate my path, it did not drive me to my destination. I did have moments were fear sat next to me, was a companion of mine. However, we were never close or best friends. Fear helped me and I looked to it to help me in my path through cancer.

Fear was never more than a one dance guy, as my dance card was full of hope, joy, love, patience, and trust. I was not going to be discouraged for I know God would never allow something to happen to me that I could not bear. I have faith in Him and know he has never left me.

Yes, when I read of others cancer journey and re-occurrences it does take me back some and I wonder what my future holds. However, even without my cancer my future is not known. I can allow this to make me stronger or weaker, better or bitter, I choose to be victorious and to stand where God has planted me proudly and in faith.

I can’t imagine my life any other way.

Down the Rabbit Hole: Nothing can Separate me from God.

Down the Rabbit Hole: Nothing can Separate me from God.: Romans 8:38-39 New Living Translation (NLT) 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death n...

Nothing can Separate me from God.

Romans 8:38-39

New Living Translation (NLT)

³⁸ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The knowledge that I had an illness that could lead to death did not frighten me like some may think it should. Instead it conjured up memories from the past like angles whispering in my ear of others who faced death and beat it. I thought of Corrie Ten Boom, how she was about my age when she was sent to a concentration camp for helping Jews hide from the Nazi’s. Joni Eareckson Tada, as a teen she jumped into a lake and her life changed forever. She has even journeyed through cancer. It has made her better and not bitter.

I may not be in control of what happens to me but I can with the help of God be in control of how I handle it. My biggest fears were that I would have a me attitude and expect others to rise and meet my unrealistic needs. So I made myself bake and give my bake goods away, write letters, knitted scarfs and hats that I could give away to those who did not have any or to show my application for all they do. It gave me a sense of worth and value knowing I could make other people happy and meet their needs.

My fears of death were slowly driven away and the knowledge that nothing even death can separate me from God. In fact when I do die I win, as nothing can separate me from God. This is power, this is courage, this is the brace I use when I stand against my fears and look at them. They have no power over me and thus can’t swing me into the pit of despair where the focus is off God and turned inward to me. This can make me better or bitter I choose better.

If I can continue to keep the focus off of me and shine it on God and all he has done and will continue to do then all this has been for the good. I look at all the times I have shared my faith with others shown them that God loves them with all his heart and that if he can do all he has done for me. Imagine all he will do for you. Yet how can they know Gods love if only through my words, but through my actions, my gifts, and my time. This cancer has never been about me but all the things God has done and will continue to do.

Down the Rabbit Hole:

Down the Rabbit Hole: