Isaiah 6:8
Then
I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who
will go for us?”
I said, “Here I am. Send me.”
I
stood by the river those around me bidding me farewell and best wishes on my
travels home. It had been a long, hard, tireless, and exhausting hike through
my cancer. However, through it came so much knowledge and built my self-confidence.
In a way I think I went through a cancer boot camp where leaning on myself was
no longer possible but had to lean on God for everything.
In
front of me I could see the boat coming to take me back to the life that was
mine before the cancer. Although I knew it would not be the same as when I left
it, it would be home. As I turned to say good-by to my guild, I saw a figure falling
from a whole in the sky. I heard a light thud and faint crying. My eyes were
open because now as I looked down and across the path I had taken there were
others struggling on the path. Many lost, fearful, in tears, and some even
giving up.
Lord
what will happen to those who are making the same journey as me? Who will help
them with their path through cancer, who will be their voice when they are too
tired and weak to cry out?
He
looked away and I could see the sun glisten on a tear that came from his eye.
There are many who come down this path and few that stays and help out.
Looking
forward the boat was docking and my things were being loaded. I looked back and
with tears now in my eyes I knew what I had to do. Turning to my guild I said, “Send
me, back to the path I was on. Please let me help those who need me.
“You
are willing to give up your dreams, desires, and want to go back and help the
others who are traveling this path? Are you sure this is your choice?”
“Yes,
how can I leave behind my fellow cancer survivors to the unknown when the path
is still fresh in my memory?”
So
the boat unloaded my items and I packed my back pack with the supplies I would
need. My guild told me that he would not be there for me when I needed him but
the road back would be traveled by me alone. Then a small voice came from the
crowd, it was a helper of the guild and she wanted to travel with me be my companion
and off we went with my dog at my side.
I don’t
know the future God has for me now, but I know that the life I lead before my
cancer can never be the life I lead now. I will continue working at Speedway
for another year part time and keep myself available when I am called on again
to help out those who need help and to be a voice to those who cannot be heard.
