SEND ME

Isaiah 6:8

 Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?”

I said, “Here I am. Send me.”

 

I stood by the river those around me bidding me farewell and best wishes on my travels home. It had been a long, hard, tireless, and exhausting hike through my cancer. However, through it came so much knowledge and built my self-confidence. In a way I think I went through a cancer boot camp where leaning on myself was no longer possible but had to lean on God for everything.

In front of me I could see the boat coming to take me back to the life that was mine before the cancer. Although I knew it would not be the same as when I left it, it would be home. As I turned to say good-by to my guild, I saw a figure falling from a whole in the sky. I heard a light thud and faint crying. My eyes were open because now as I looked down and across the path I had taken there were others struggling on the path. Many lost, fearful, in tears, and some even giving up.

Lord what will happen to those who are making the same journey as me? Who will help them with their path through cancer, who will be their voice when they are too tired and weak to cry out?

He looked away and I could see the sun glisten on a tear that came from his eye. There are many who come down this path and few that stays and help out.

Looking forward the boat was docking and my things were being loaded. I looked back and with tears now in my eyes I knew what I had to do. Turning to my guild I said, “Send me, back to the path I was on. Please let me help those who need me.

“You are willing to give up your dreams, desires, and want to go back and help the others who are traveling this path? Are you sure this is your choice?”  

“Yes, how can I leave behind my fellow cancer survivors to the unknown when the path is still fresh in my memory?”

So the boat unloaded my items and I packed my back pack with the supplies I would need. My guild told me that he would not be there for me when I needed him but the road back would be traveled by me alone. Then a small voice came from the crowd, it was a helper of the guild and she wanted to travel with me be my companion and off we went with my dog at my side.

I don’t know the future God has for me now, but I know that the life I lead before my cancer can never be the life I lead now. I will continue working at Speedway for another year part time and keep myself available when I am called on again to help out those who need help and to be a voice to those who cannot be heard.