The Scouting Report

 

Numbers 13: 25-33 NLT

²⁵ After exploring the land for forty days, the men returned ²⁶ to Moses, Aaron, and the whole community of Israel at Kadesh in the wilderness of Paran. They reported to the whole community what they had seen and showed them the fruit they had taken from the land. ²⁷ This was their report to Moses: “We entered the land you sent us to explore, and it is indeed a bountiful country—a land flowing with milk and honey. Here is the kind of fruit it produces. ²⁸ But the people living there are powerful, and their towns are large and fortified. We even saw giants there, the descendants of Anak! ²⁹ The Amalekites live in the Negev, and the Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites live in the hill country. The Canaanites live along the coast of the Mediterranean Sea^[a] and along the Jordan Valley.”³⁰ But Caleb tried to quiet the people as they stood before Moses. “Let’s go at once to take the land,” he said. “We can certainly conquer it!”³¹ But the other men who had explored the land with him disagreed. “We can’t go up against them! They are stronger than we are!” ³² So they spread this bad report about the land among the Israelites: “The land we traveled through and explored will devour anyone who goes to live there. All the people we saw were huge. ³³ We even saw giants^[b] there, the descendants of Anak. Next to them we felt like grasshoppers, and that’s what they thought, too!”

 

On July 13, 2011 I received my scouting report my cancer was downgraded to stage 3 from 4. The spots on my spine were gone and the lymph node in my groin area was only an infection. The doctor sat with me and explained the treatment in detail and all the possible side effects. She said that everyone at the Cancer Center would be there for me and assist me through this leg of my journey. She had shard that they were hopeful that the removal of my left breast and lymph nodes removed all the cancer. As I look back and read my journals memories flood back to me, the unknown, the fear, the out of control, and knowing I was going to take medications that would harm my body only to save it. My medical doctor said, “Chemo would take me to the brink of death”.  I wrote that I wished I could take the money I had and just go away and never come back and face what I had to face.

While reading Numbers I could understand what the Israelites were facing, there were great reports about the land and yet the land was full of giants. Although the report from my oncologist held great news it also was a thread of the giants I would be facing myself. I had prayed that God would take this cup from me but also prayed that he would give me the power to go through this with courage, honor, and tenacity. I had not wanted to be like the Israelites when they questioned God, nor Job, and others in the bible who doubted whether God could really let his people down. I knew through past events in my own life that he would never allow something to happen to me I could not bear, and because he did allow this cancer in my body it must be that he has faith in me and knows that I will succeed in all I do. With trust like that from God what else can I do by cross my own Jordon River and claim the promise land he has given me giants and all. For through Christ I can do all things, besides how many times do I read in the bible to “FEAR NOT” No, I will not allow fear to be the rudder on my sail boat but faith, and know that God is the wind that will take me to new adventures that await us.