Nothing can Separate me from God.

Romans 8:38-39

New Living Translation (NLT)

³⁸ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The knowledge that I had an illness that could lead to death did not frighten me like some may think it should. Instead it conjured up memories from the past like angles whispering in my ear of others who faced death and beat it. I thought of Corrie Ten Boom, how she was about my age when she was sent to a concentration camp for helping Jews hide from the Nazi’s. Joni Eareckson Tada, as a teen she jumped into a lake and her life changed forever. She has even journeyed through cancer. It has made her better and not bitter.

I may not be in control of what happens to me but I can with the help of God be in control of how I handle it. My biggest fears were that I would have a me attitude and expect others to rise and meet my unrealistic needs. So I made myself bake and give my bake goods away, write letters, knitted scarfs and hats that I could give away to those who did not have any or to show my application for all they do. It gave me a sense of worth and value knowing I could make other people happy and meet their needs.

My fears of death were slowly driven away and the knowledge that nothing even death can separate me from God. In fact when I do die I win, as nothing can separate me from God. This is power, this is courage, this is the brace I use when I stand against my fears and look at them. They have no power over me and thus can’t swing me into the pit of despair where the focus is off God and turned inward to me. This can make me better or bitter I choose better.

If I can continue to keep the focus off of me and shine it on God and all he has done and will continue to do then all this has been for the good. I look at all the times I have shared my faith with others shown them that God loves them with all his heart and that if he can do all he has done for me. Imagine all he will do for you. Yet how can they know Gods love if only through my words, but through my actions, my gifts, and my time. This cancer has never been about me but all the things God has done and will continue to do.